Instead of a Breakdown, I've had a Breakthrough

Since coming out of the cult I was associated with since '87, I have had inconsistent self-esteem. On the one hand, I've written six novels, won awards for my writing, been published in magazine and newspaper, and received a number of wonderful honors. But at the same time that I was achieving all those amazing goals, I was also supporting myself with entry-level jobs, even though I have expert-level computer skills; strong communication abilities; and a fast, logical, and organized mind.

It was a mystery to me as well as to those who know of my talents why I couldn't seem to even start the process of finding a job in my area of expertise. Whenever I'd even begin to think about it, I'd have a panic attack or something akin to one and I'd find myself stuck in a rut of procrastination and anxiety.

Then something happened. A wonderful catalyst sent out the necessary spark and the kindling I'd been moping around on top of started ablaze. Since my problem wasn't simple, the catalyst that forced me to jump up and out of the fire wasn't simple either. It was a collection of events, all coming to a head at the same time. They crashed together in a beautiful display of disfunction and New Year's Eve Day found me romantically rejected, unemployed, and about as low as person can go without needing paramedics.

At the time, that catalyst, that string of events, that low point in my life seemed like it would go on forever and stood in defiance of any feasible solution. But just like sparks, catalysts are temporary. And when they've finished what they've set out to accomplish, they disappear just as realization arrives.

With the help of an amazingly wonderful friend, I found myself clear-headed for the first time in months and I knew what I had to do. I dusted off my resume, not touched in three or four years, and I solicted advice from my friends on how to make it as appealing as possible while still being 100% factual. In no time, friends were popping up all over with friendly suggestions. Some even sent me a copy of their resume to use as a guide. In two days, I had completely remodeled my resume and sent it out to a number or prospective computer companies.

The next week, I called each of the companies I'd sent it to. I thanked them for their time and for considering me for a position. One of the companies told me they were needing to hire a computer tech, but it wouldn't be before the boss returned at the end of the week. The following Monday I called that company back. I commented on how they said they'd be hiring soon and mentioned how much I'd appreciate an interview.

The very next day (Tuesday), the boss called and asked me to come in Wednesday. I showed up on time and ready to sell every positive quality I have. The interview went nice and they asked me back to perform a bench test. That's where they give you a disassembled computer and have you reassemble it. They usually throw in an obstacle or two (CMOS, TCP/IP config, ect.) to see how your troubleshooting skills are. I was a little rusty, but I managed to get everything up and running in forty-five minutes. The boss seemed happy with my performance and told me he'd call me later that day. He did, and offered me a job.